Life Update

Hello Beautiful People!

It has been a very long time since I have had a chance to come on and write.

I don’t have a specific topic that I am covering today. I would just like to give you an update on my life and growth over the last year.

I have had quite a ride over the last year. The last time I wrote, it was on the topic of traveling. I have not done that because of COVID however, I have been going out and having fun. Now that I am of legal age to drink here in Texas. There has been quite a bit of partying and hanging out with my friends.

I am also very responsible though. I got a great job at a roofing company in Texas as a receptionist/Accounting Assistant and I absolutely love it. I do payroll as well as other administrative duties.

I have benefits and growth opportunities as well as the ability to make amazing friends. I have made my best friends through my job, and they are nothing like the friends I have ever had before. They are thoughtful and kind. They are adventurous and fun but also love to just spend quality time with the people that make them happy. I have never been able to experience those type of friendships as an adult. Its refreshing.

I also recently got out of a relationship of three years. I can’t say much about it but it’s been a rough time. I am the type of person who like to shove feelings down until they are so small you forget they are there. Well, I have been doing that and just going out and having what I would consider a fun time. I have reconnected with some old friends that I was never comfortable talking to while being in a relationship. It’s been amazing rekindling the fire of the friendships I haven’t had in years.

Jumping back to my previous statement about cramming feelings down into the deepest centers of my brain, I do that when I really don’t have any emotions or feelings left to endure in that moment. Give me a month and I will finally be able to process that situation with all the proper techniques and emotions that I have learned over the years. I just don’t have the time or energy to process that situation at the given moment. Kind of like putting the mac and cheese on low on the burner and cooking every other dish for the meal first and THEN being able to get to the mac and cheese. That’s what my brain does with hard, emotional situations.

I am finally able to write today because I am enjoying a wonderful weekend in Galveston. For those of you who don’t go to Texas, It’s the closest beach to Houston. Its absolutely nothing to get excited about. Its brown and gross and there are WAY too many people to make it anywhere near comfortable to be on. However, the view I have right now on the balcony of my hotel is absolutely breath taking. It Completely reminds me of the view from the Suwannee condo at me Nonny’s. Fresh air, water, and marsh. It’s the most peaceful I have been in a very long time.

I lied when I said I didn’t travel. I did have a chance to see my Aunt Tara in Boston a few months ago. I just had a slight brain jam. I was there for almost a week. I got to hike a mountain in New Hampshire, and we all stayed in an Air BNB in Old Orchard Beach, Maine. It was a very small tourist town. Imagine the destination in Zombieland (Pacific Playland). That’s exactly what this little town was like, small and had a giant theme park right in the middle of the town. The beach was nice as well. Coming from Florida and seeing good beaches, makes me very picky about what beaches I genuinely enjoy, and which ones (like Galveston) are gross.

I plan to go home for Christmas for a week with my family. That’s really exhilarating for me because I haven’t been able to fish or swim in an actual spring in years. I know it will be super cold, but I don’t even care.

I want to enjoy the things I once did. That has been something I have struggled with for a very long time. It’s been a journey that I recently started as well. I want to be happy. I want to enjoy the things I do without the anxiety and depression always in the back of my mind. I bought a house plant and started riding horses at a coworker’s house. I also realized I really enjoy playing Pool. It’s a strategic but also very mindless game that has literally no point except to win. I have also been very active in the club scene and downtown Montrose. Which is a predominately a gay neighborhood that has immaculate coffee and decent thrift shops. They have a club there called Blur and it has a range of music. Usually Latin and Pop music which I call twerking music because there is literally no other way of dancing these days. I also frequent a country bar and two step very well. The line danced bring me major joy because the steps are just muscle memory by now. I can just let loose and just dance with no thoughts.

I live with my parents… again. Its not bad living back there. It’s helped with my relationship with my mom some. But also has hurt a few things in our relationship as well. I feel like my mother and I’s relationship will always be something that we will have to work on for years. In regard to my brother, it’s such an easy relationship to maintain. Its very sad sometimes that he isn’t here at home anymore, so I never get to enjoy his company. We talk occasionally on the phone or over Snapchat but its not like being physically there with him.

Well, that’s all the word dumping left in my brain. I hope you enjoyed reading the update of my life and I will try and find ways to update and write more on my blog. But my computer is totaled, and I have no extra income to pay for another one right now. I usually borrow my friends’ computers and just slam it out.

Until next time, I love you all. You’re worthy of all the things in life. Money, Power, Happiness, Joy. Keep it up and you’re doing great.