About Me for My Readers.

For this blog, Ive decided to share my personal story. I want my readers to get to know a little about the person who started this blog. I won't get into all of my whole story, just a little bit of it. More will come out when I do pieces on other topics.

Hello. My name is Makenna and I am nineteen years old.

I have been though a lot in my nineteen years of life. Things that no other person should have to go through.

I grew up in a small town in Florida, on a bunch of land. I grew up with my brother and boy cousins. I was the only girl for a very long time. I grew up to have pretty tough skin. Four-wheelers, dirt bikes, hunting, fishing. All the stuff a little country girl loves to do.

School was okay for the most part. I made my best friends in Middle School. We stuck together until freshman year. We made the best memories together and made our marks in the world the best we knew how.

After middle school, Freshman year came. That was a very hard time in my life. For those who know me, you know I am an Empath. For those of you that don't know what that is, It is a person who feels others emotions like their own. For me, It was hard to differentiate others feelings and emotions from my own. That was my first downfall. My really close friend came to me one day during school and told me that she had been attacked by an older man she was dating. Her story was she was at a party late at night and the guys were doing drugs. They went for a drive and he threw her phone out of the window, went a little further and made her have sex with her in front of his friends. They videoed it and sent it to everyone in the town.

The things that got to me the most was the fact that she made me promise not to tell anyone. I thought I was doing the right thing by not telling anyone but in reality, I was not only hurting her but I was hurting myself as well. I fell into this deep depression. I held onto this burning secret for weeks. During this time, I was also self-harming. I didn't know how to control my life anymore so I decided that I could control hurting myself. So I did. That became a continuous cycle for years after that.

I finally told someone about the incident and my best friend moved away from our small town. Shortly after that, I moved away from my hometown.

I was depressed and hurting still. But, I still had to try and make friends do good in the new school. I got bullied my sophomore year. The whole year I was living in a hell that nobody could control except myself.

Fast forward a year, new school, new home, new family.

Everything was going really well. I had made friends, was doing what I loved, I was also making money.

My upperclass years weren't great either. Bullied, assaulted, and slut-shamed (I hadn't even had sex at this point yet either)

I missed so many "important" high school events. I missed my first and last Prom. I left high school with no friends.

I went to England and France. Got to explore a little part of the world while I could. I saw my best friend have her baby. I made sure that I was going to be a part of his world, just like she was a part of mine.

I had started a serious relationship out of high school. I thought he was The One. Nobody else saw it, but I didn't want to listen. I ignored all of the insults and comments. I lost my virginity to this kid. Thats what he was, a child in a little mans body. I loved him.

He raped me at eighteen years old. I attempted suicide at eighteen years old. I went to my first mental ward at eighteen. My adult life was just starting and this was what I was going through.

I got out of the ward, started therapy, and got my life back on track. It wasn't easy, by any means. I tried to stay strong and I tried to make it seem like I was fine. I wasn't. I was scared. I was scared of living. I was also scared of dying. I was scared to drive around town, go out by myself, even go to the grocery store. I was scared to see the one person who killed me on the inside and out.

I had to start all over again. I had to learn how to live again. Once you decide that life isn't worth living, its hard to get back into the groove of how life is supposed to be like. I couldn't sleep or eat. I couldn't go out, hang out with my friends, or even sit with my family. I isolated myself from the world and had to learn how to live in it again.

I did it. I graduated therapy, started a great job, and got on a medication that didn't make me walk around like a zombie. I am doing great. There will always be hard times, relapses, and dark shadows. I have to learn how to get through them in the healthiest ways possible.

Now, I own my own car, apartment, and I have my life at a good point. I am in a good healthy relationship. I have friends and family who support me and stand with me through everything.

I just want my readers to know me and my story. Life doesn't always start off great. Life doesn't always seem like we should live and breathe. I didn't for a long time. I have scars. Mental, emotional, and physical scars. They still haunt me everyday.

But, life is worth living. Find things that make you happy. Write lists, paint, sing, draw, write, find a hobby. Focus all your energy into that hobby and when you are feeling sad or upset go back to the things you love.

I love all of you, thank you for reading this. Thank you for sticking around and supporting me and my passions. I hope this gives a little insight on why I write the things I do and I hope my story inspires others.